Non Scale Victory

So...yesterday as i was workin' it on the treadmill at the hancock location (all pretty people who don't actually sweat while doing cardio) and I realized this startling fact: my 1 mile time has gone from over 22 minutes to around 17 minutes (and this time includes my warm up where i'm walking slow for a minute or two, I haven't actually done a mile timed). My walking speed has increased from 3.0 to 3.6, and now I can run for a minute and a half at a speed of 5.7. Not bad eh? I can also now do 90 crunches with or without weights. I am now able to stand on one leg and balance better due to my yoga classes, but my ankles are still weak so I still have to work on that. My next goal is to be able to do the 24 lift class 2x a week for my weights and to also add a pilates class.

I got some new batteries in my heart rate monitor and the signal from the chest piece is go good now that my heart rate was broadcast to the two treadmills on either side of me too. So everyone knew exactly how hard I was working yesterday. Love the heart rate monitor!

Day 51 (only 33 days left = 1 month)

I made my appointment for my sono. It will be tomorrow. I don't know how long it takes to get the results back...they'll probably come back while I'm out of town. On the plus side, if I have to switch to optihealth, I'll be able to eat again and my dreams of eating a toco will be that much closer! Mmm, tacos.

I'm starting to get tired of the pickles I eat as my treat each week. I'm ready for something new. I can eat the same thing for a long time, but I'm beginning to think that 2 months is my limit for the monotonous repetition. Part of eating food is looking forward to the new flavors and experiences that different foods give you, and I'm missing out on that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've been having food fantasies again. I was doing really well there for the last couple of weeks, but now I'm back into my thinking about food mode again.

On a sillier side, I've been trying to get Lorne to loose weight with me (especially since 20 pounds of cat on the chest is really heavy). We've been walking (he's really lazy so it's mostly rolling in the dirt and less walking) and I've reduced the amount of food I give him. I weighed him the other day and he's still 19 pounds. I keep telling him that only 5 minutes of walking will make a positive change in his life, but he doesn't listen to me. In fact, I think he's reduced his amount of daily movement as his chow supply has decreased. There has been a marked increase in laziness and meowing. I don't know how successful Lorne will be with my goals for him; and he's going to Grandma and Grandpa's house next week and I have a sneaking suspicion that spoiling will be done. I guess all else fails, I can always use Lorne as an electric blanket.

Bittersweet

I lost an awesome 4.8 pounds this last week! I'm almost 40% of the way to my goal. I am right on target with my weight loss goals. But...there is a kink in the plan. My LFT's are still elevated (and quite a bit too). The doctor ordered blood work to rule out hepatitis and I'm getting a gallbladder sono. I don't know what this will mean for the fast. I'm assuming that no matter what the results are that I'm going to have to increase my caloric intake to help my liver and gallbladder out. Or I will end up having to have an elbow-ectomy cause it will be elbow cancer.

I've been thinking about this all day. I eat the same thing as everyone else in my group. In fact, I eat extra as I have 2-3 servings of pickles every week and I eat 6 shakes at least 2 times a week if not more. Yet, I'm loosing weight a lot faster than anyone else in my group. I think maybe my body's set weight point is so much lower than where I've been that it's really trying to reach it's homeostatic limits. There are some studies out which point to the fact that exercise during childhood will lower your body weight set point even if genetics dictate that you should be obese and I have plenty of memories of being athletic during my childhood. Then again, almost every study recently has shown that exercise will improve or completely reverse any problem. While I think this may be a contributing factor to my rapid weight loss, I'm not exactly sure exactly why my body is using up it's fat stores so quickly.

All I can do is wait for the results from the current tests and fill my mind with conjecture over the possibilities the future holds.

End week 7

Here are comparison pictures from 04/30/08 (my first pictures, but not the beginning of the fast) to today 05/26/08

Day 48

Whew...two days off! It was amazing how much I didn't do (like laundry or clean the bathroom...). One thing I did accomplish was buying a new bathing suit. Black with white polka dots. And a trial run of the suit at barton springs. The water was great btw and the boys where as hot as ever. I am noticeable more comfortable in a bathing suit than I was at Leakey in February for the jump in. I'm still a big girl in a bathing suit, but at least I know my weight is going in the right direction (for once) and not the wrong direction so I don't feel so bad about the lack of concealing clothing.

My body kinda slowed down a little last week with the weight loss. Very normal. It's traumatic on the body to loose weight this fast and we have all these homeostatic mechanisms. I wasn't very upset about my 1.8 pound weight loss last week as I was about the inch measurements I did that increased. Even though rationally I understand that my schedule was completely off due to my working nights and that it was all water weight, I was still disappointed that I gained about 1/4 to 1/2 an inch on all my measurements. But I'm making up for it this week. I think I'm going to loose around 5-6 pounds again and the resulting inches! I'll find out for sure on Tuesday so I'm looking forward to confirmation of my suspicions. I am planning for Amy (work Amy) to take another round of pictures this week, so comparison should be coming.

I'm one day away from only being 5 weeks from the end of my fast. Only one more week till I've done 2 months of fasting. Only 36 more days of fasting till I can begin my re-feeding process.

Day 45

I'm off for 2 days in a row for the first time in over a year. So enjoy the break people cause after that this chicken will be on the road again.

New Pants and a Kitchen Appliance

So I didn't buy new pants (even though I needed some, due to the store being sold out of my new smaller size) and I've been walking around for over a week now holding my pants up so they won't fall down, and I mean this literally (all my belts are still too small and I don't own a pair of suspenders hence the lack of modern technology to contain the problem). Today while I was laying around the house before work I decided to look and see if I could find a pair of pants that would fit. I didn't believe that I would have anything since I've given away almost everything I don't use since moving into a 400 square foot apartment. Well, I found one pair of khaki's at the very back of the closet...and so I tried them on. I was able to button and zip them up without sucking in or anything. I have officially gone down 6 sizes in clothes so far!!! I was a little disappointed with my weigh in this week since I didn't get one of my big numbers, but now I'm feeling a lot better. The pants are not the best cut for me. And while I fit in them with no problem, they are still a little small for me. They are wearable in public though. So they will do for now...and for the next 6 weeks!

My other excitement for the week is my latest purchase towards my maintenance. I bought a Cuisinart Griddler from a guy on Craigslist. It was like brand new and I got it for $80! This will be perfect for grilling veggies and meat while in my apartment (plus it makes a mean panini). Doesn't sound as exciting on paper as I am about this in real life, but this should be my new favorite kitchen toy once I start eating again.

Next is the new bathing suit. It may be happening this weekend with the momzer. One can only hope I don't have to try on too many to find a good one. Nothing like bathing suit shopping to make you feel self conscious.

I forgot

to eat....for about 40 minutes!!! I wasn't hungry. I wasn't thinking about food. I wasn't watching the clock for my next time to eat!!! Oh my goodness. First time for everything. This is like a little ray of sunshine on the future and the maintenance phase. I know I can finish the fast, but I'm starting to feel more confident about my ability to keep it off (something I've never accomplished).

Up to the minute reporting here with the chicken.

Half way

Today is the last day before I crest the hill and start rolling down the other side. I only wish I could raise my arms in celebrations, but alas they are so sore I can barely type (this is not one of my exaggerations I can literately feel my chest muscles being used to type due to how sore I am). Yes, I am in the throws of muscle building and there is only so much that ibuprofen can do. No one said building muscle was easy; and I don't want to metabolize all muscle and be left with all fat. So, I press on in the face of pain, hardship, famine, weight lifting classes, sweat, tears, hairballs, and beautiful summer days so that I have guns that all will covet.

Today is day 42 and I have 42 days left. Today is the end of 6 weeks! Only 42 days to go. And I've already accomplished 42, so I should be able to do this. Granted Padre will be tough with the no drinking, but I'll try to fill my time oogling boys on the beach and looking for someone to fill the position of cabana boy and sunscreen applier. After Padre I only have 3 weeks and it should be a steeper down hill from there cause food will be on the horizon. This is all I can type today...I must rest and drink more water.

Day 41

Last night was hard. I was awake all day and then did a night shift at work. I was awake almost 20 hours...and I only had 6 shakes. It didn't help that I had to be back at work at 1pm after getting off at 7a. I worked it out so I could leave early yesterday morning and I got here a couple of hours late so I could get enough sleep.

So I went to the 24Lift class (Without Kim :(. There was a car mishap, but we will workout together one day). An hour of repetitious weight lifting with variations on how fast you lift (one count vs. 2 count vs. what ever the instructor says....) with low or medium weights (One of our most popular classes, this highly efficient, full-body 24 Hour Fitness signature workout utilizes barbells and hand weights to strengthen and sculpt all muscle groups.). Whew...after 35 minutes I had to leave the room cause I was getting queasy and a little lightheaded. I don't know if it was due to my low calorie diet or I know on the biggest loser they always talk about how when you use fat as an energy source during exercise the toxins in your body from metabolism build up and cause nausea. Either way, I was there. So I sat and drank some water and then after 10 minutes or so I went back in and finished the class. What a trooper. Over all, the class was phenomenal. I would totally do it again. And eventually one day I'll be able to do the whole hour...until then I'll keep trying.

So going back in to finish the lifting class was not my stupidest move of the day (nor was working out for 2 hours and staying up all day before I had to stay up all night to work...) Staying after 24Lift to do Yoga was my stupidest move yesterday. I am so committed to doing yoga that I did it yesterday also. I don't know what I was thinking. I am starting to wonder if toxins were crossing my blood brain barrier causing addled minded thinking or if the toxins caused me to forget how I couldn't move after my last yoga class (not to mention how you feel after lifting weights for the first time in a long time)...but today I'm back on my water and ibuprofen diet. The moral of the story: Carlee still has a long way to go before she learns how not to over do it.

Goal

These are from 2001 (back right after I turned of age to drink alcohol) with my signature burgundy black hair color. I don't know what I weighed back then, but I'm thinking that this is around what I think I want my goal weight to be. It's probably around 200 lbs (I still have those swimmer arms in these pictures and I may never have those again)

Liver function elevated

So my first months blood work came back...and my LFT's are elevated. The nurse says to drink more water to help my liver. I'm already drinking 2 Liters in addition to the fluid in the shakes...and I make my shakes with extra water. I'm peeing every hour if not more...even at night. I wake up 3-4 times a night to pee...and now I have to drink more! My toilet paper usage has already increased three fold. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to drink more water cause I don't want to hurt my liver. Also, they will recheck my LFT's in about 2 weeks. I'm thinking that I will have to drink more in the mornings than the evenings to help with getting a good nights sleep. Not only am I worried about my increased peeing, but I also worry that if my LFT's don't go down I'll have to go off the fast. I don't know if they would let me do the Optihealth (shakes with one lean and green meal a day = to about 1000 cals/day) at least until my liver is back to healthy place. I know I don't love the fast, but I don't feel ready to eat real food again.

On the opposite side of the spectrum...they also tested my glucose level. Well, I had eaten a shake right before the doctor saw me. Then I had my blood drawn after the doctor, so maybe 30-40 minutes after eating: dum dum dum; my blood sugar was only 113!!! That's super exciting. It didn't spike after eating! So I'm thinking that maybe my insulin sensitivity is gone for the moment. I know that to keep it gone I still have some work to put in, but it's nice to know the adverse effects are already being repaired.

On the down side: I haven't worked out in like 5 days...I've been enjoying my post school laziness and so I've done nothing. Lucky for me, Kim texted me this morning about working out tomorrow. Of course I'm taking her up on the offer and we will be trying out a new class together. We have one small snag so far, neither of us wants to make the final decision as to which class we do. I'm sure it will work out though. Plus I am going to try out my new yoga mat tomorrow. 2nd yoga class. I've got my ibuprofen ready.

side by side comparison

then (my birthday this year) vs. now (5/12/08) (btw: I'm doing my America's Next Top Model pose hence the fabness)





conclusion: I still wear my hair the same...(don't worry the haircut and color is on the list of rewards, it's just going to be after the 12 weeks)

The whole pickle truth

So every week now I have a few ounces of pickles about twice a week (this is less than 30 calories extra per day). This is my pickle confessional. So after the first pickle incident I kept going. I just couldn't help but wonder how 20-30 calories of pickles could make or break my fast. Obviously it isn't affecting my weight loss at all. I found these awesome locally made pickles at central market. They are supper tasty, especially after only eating shakes.

I so just want to start eating again soooo badly. I still have 7 more weeks. I calculated my BMR (basal metabolic rate) for my height, age and target weight...and it comes out to 1950 calories/day. That is the number of calories I can eat in a day and still maintain my weight, and that's doesn't include calories burned during exercise. While I'm sitting here only eating 800 cal/day that number looks so do-able. 1950/5=390 calories per meal (so much more than 160 calories a meal!).

I want to eat, but I'm sticking out the fast. All diets have about the same success rate of loosing and maintaining weight loss(and it's less than quiting smoking...scary huh?) and so it's all about the work you put into it...and if they all have the same success rate I'm sticking with the program with the fastest results. That means 7 more weeks of fast...then I can start my refeed and maintenance.

Day 32

Shout out to my Mom and Penny. The only 2 people who actually read my blog and comment. Y'all have been very supportive and the comments are helpful. I read through them on tough days. I just sold back my books after I confirmed my A's, so I have some extra cash...I would normally buy y'all a beer or something, but that wouldn't be very fun for me. So instead I'm shouting out.

So my non scale victory of the week. After I took my physio final, I finished so fast, I decided to go to the gym for just 26 minutes, no weights or ab exercises ( I had to study for an assessment exam this morning). I always push the random button on the treadmill and this time I got a session that had almost no incline except a couple of inclines of only 1-2 (very low for those who don't treadmill). I was working hard, especially since it had been about 5 days since my last workout and I had the speed cranked due to the lack of incline, but my heart rate was only around 138 (which is too low for me, my aerobic zone is higher)....ssooooo I decided to run the last minute and a half. I cranked the speed up to 4.5...then 4.7...then 5.4 and I did it. I got my heart rate up to 170 and I was breathing hard, finally, and it didn't hurt to run. I was very happy. Now, all I have to do is get some new shoes.

I also made an appointment today for my first massage. It will be next Thursday. I figure that will all the free time I'll have once schools out, I'm going to exercise more, so I'll probably need it by Thursday. I'm excited. I'm expecting to enjoy every minute (all 60 minutes) of it.

One Month

After one month of fasting: I have lost inches (don't know how many as I was too afraid to take my measurements at the beginning), I have lost 8.7% of my total body weight, and my BMI is now below 40 (it's 39.63 as of Tuesday). 40 is the cut off between morbid obesity and plain old obesity. All super results for just 28 days. Plus I'm 1/3 of the way through the fast. Only 8 more weeks....then the hard part begins, maintenance.

These last few days have been easier (despite my taco thoughts). I've been able to watch TV without watching the clock counting down minute by minute till my next shake. I've actually had a few episodes where for a few hours I actually don't think about food. In no way is this fast 'old hat', but I do think my behavior is changing for the better and I think I'm getting better. I'm still terrified of maintenance and my ability to manage my eating for the next 39 years. I have taken some steps already to help me with maintenance. I ordered a calorie counter book, a kitchen scale and a bathroom scale with the bio impedance for fat percentage. Some tools to help me measure my progress and keep up with maintenance.

I know I've done such good work, but I'm about to have a taco meltdown. I haven't gone this long without a taco in years. All I can think about are tacos. I even think about blending tacos to put in my shakes. Taco Deli, Taco Bueno, Polvos, Taco Bell, Taco Cabanna, Torchy's Tacos, Taco stands, Maria's Taco Xpress, Guero's Taco Bar, BBQ tacos, Changos, Chipotle, Wahoo fish tacos, taco sauce, taco seasoning, taco meat, breakfast taco, dessert taco, tacos, tacos, tacos, tacos...they are everywhere but with me. It's so sad. I'm not going to cheat. I just want a taco. It's just cruel.

I haven't worked out in like 4 days, and I probably won't exercise until Saturday. Too much studying. I've already gotten one A...now I just need a few more, then back to the treadmill.

I've lost inches!!!

So I've gone from a chest somewhere between 42 to 44 inches (I didn't want to know so I didn't measure at my heaviest) and now I'm down to 40 inches! That is amazing!!! I was so excited I had to share even though it's not my normal day to post. I still have a couple of inches to loose in my chest (probably about 3-4 more) but I'm half way there!!! I haven't done the rest of my inch measurements for today...I had to come to school to study, but I'll do them tonight.

Also, after my weigh in today, I'm down 12% of my origional weight!!! They say that 5-10% makes a dramatic difference in your health and I've done that! I'm really encouraged today and I'm feeling like all my hard work has resulted in some super noticable changes after just this first month of my fast.

DAY 28...END OF 4 WEEKS= 1MONTH!!!!

I didn't think I would make it through the first week and here I am 4 weeks later. (Technically, I started on the 8th which would make one month in 3 days....but one shouldn't think of things like that.) This is not my only accomplishment this week. I haven't bitten my nails in a while. At least for a week or two. Maybe this is a sign of my decreased emotional need to put things in my mouth? Or maybe it's just that my fingers don't taste good now that they are shake flavored? Or maybe I'm getting enough fiber already cause it's shedding season and I've already had my fill of cat hair? I have one more accomplishment: I have to buy a new bra and pants. Doesn't sound spectacular until....dum dum dum...you hear that my old bra is too big (as opposed to worn out). And it's too big around not too big in cup size (the better of the two if I can say so). As for my jeans, I can almost pull them down without unbuttoning them, actually I may be able to pull them off without unbuttoning but I haven't tried. So I may have to , gasp, shop this Saturday. I'm thinking of going shorts instead of jeans for the summer. So, I'm doing very well with my fast (even though I might kill someone for a breakfast taco)! I am kinda looking forward to my weigh in tomorrow (kinda sick I know) because I really want to know definitively how I did this week.

Yesterday was hard. I had to work a 16 hour shift, which means you're at work for like 18 hours, plus I knew I would be awake for a bit after I got home. This was the longest day I've had since I've started my fast. I had to space out my meals more than usual which made for a very hungry day. I made it through though. Today I work my first 12 hour shift since I've started my fast, but after yesterday it kinda feels like a nice breeze (or is that from my fake vacation I'm planning to Fiji...did you know it's only $1500 dollars for round trip airfare and 15 nights at a hotel?). I've also had pharmacology and physiology to keep me busy these last two days. (Three tests this week!)

Everyone will probably be happy to know that I am able to move my core again without extreme pain. I knew my core was weak, but I didn't realize how weak. I am also, apparently, not vary flexible. I thought I was fairly flexible. This proves that thoughts don't matter...reality does? I guess what I really wonder: How many classes before the next day immobility goes away? 6? 8? Hopefully not more than that. Maybe I'll use one of my free passes and take my mom one Saturday (12-1p).

So early someone was coming home from the bar as I was leaving for work

OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I took my first yoga class yesterday, it was a yoga stretch class. I figure yoga's really good for core strength, breathing techniques and it's nice and low impact so it should be perfect for me while I'm on my super low calorie diet. I left the class feeling fine. I was able to do the entire class no problem. After about an hour and a half I started to feel a little muscle fatigue but I thought it was just because I hadn't been home to eat yet....then I woke up this morning. I am so sore I can barely move. I think I engaged my smooth muscles and skeletal muscles of my core during the class!!! My stomach hurts soooooo freaking bad. Kim warned me and I didn't believe her. Now I'm living on water and ibuprofen.

success event

So I was super stressing over my physiology test this week. My professor moved the test up 5 days and I was unprepared. She did a lecture that went over 2 whole chapters (endocrinology and reproductive system...a LOT of info), she did the female reproductive system in 5 minutes but we were expected to know everything, this was a tuesday and our test was thursday of the same week. I almost started crying in class. I was able to wait until I got to my car at least. So, I am not normally a crier. The whole way home I was just frustrated and mad and all I could think was that I wasn't going to get an A in my class and that I couldn't even eat. Once I got home I just cried and cried and cried and Lorne licked my face and tried to lick my eyeballs, he was very supportive. But then, I just got up, brushed myself off and started studying. I was still very frustrated and upset, but I studied anyways. So I took my test yesterday...and I think I got a low A or a high B on it (I only need an 86 to make an A in my class). I was elated afterwards. I had studied enough, or as much as a person can in 48 hours, I had done very well on my test, and I didn't go off my diet!!! I'll find out my grade on tuesday.

After my test yesterday I hung out with my bffs. Danielle made me tea (super supportive) while they had some beers. We got to just hang, relax and enjoy Danielle's new place. It made a perfect ending to my stress for the week cause I have the bestest friends.

So the moral of this story: hissy fits are better for me than eating when my emotions get out of control.

This one's for Penny: So every one has seen my unflattering vacation photo from Leakey this febuary. Here's a current picture (down almost 20 pounds) taken by one of my office mates (she didn't tell me when to smile):



it's hard to tell from the photo, but my clothes are looser and I've lost inches. And my back's not always at that crazy angle (pic 2)...