Start cont.

So at least two of these initial problems was solved almost right away. New friends from the coop. Up until this point in my life I had a tenancy toward friends who weren't good for me, but these new friends they might be the second best thing to ever happen to me (being born into a great family being the first). No back stabbing, no using people, no sleeping with boyfriends...in other words they were nice to me and respected the friendships they have with each other. From this great group of people emerged my bff, Sean, who was also at the top of my list of past and present bffs. His personality really complements mine. We make each other better people, help each other through the not so good times, he still laughs at my cheesy jokes, and he is understanding of my passion for perky blond girl heroes who save the day with perfect hair.
My group of friends has been together so long that we call each other family. I've known we have something most people don't have for a while. Most people don't have a group this large of people who are really close, work on their relationship every year (at least 2x a year), and have been friends this long (we're going on 9 years). The part I didn't realize was that my inability to make good friend choices was no longer a problem for me. If I was able to choose relationships like this, and keep them, I no longer had to fear my choice in friends.
Next...dropping out of school. That one was a really bad idea. It lead to many more dropping out of schools and a few where I just stopped going to class without dropping out. Bad for the GPA. Don't know why I couldn't finish what I started, but in the Spring of 2007 I went back to school, again, for like the 12 millionth time, but I finished the semester with my trademark A. I've now (almost) completed 3 consecutive semesters all with A's and I have plans to get an associates in nursing followed by a BSN in nursing.
So the last issue. The boyfriend. This is where the weight loss comes in. I've gained more than 100 pounds since the beginning of 2000. Due to all this weight i'm overly self conscious in the boyfriend department. I am not taking my clothes off in front of anyone right now. To be blunt. I want to have sex. I want the intimacy of a boyfriend relationship. I want to come home to someone who has opposable thumbs, helps with the chores, and makes my apartment less lonely. I read novels about it...I watch romantic comedies...I listen to my friends talk about their dating adventures. So, I'm loosing weight to increase my self esteem in this area. Slightly shallow, but still part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
Why Now?
I went in to the doctor for back pain which was making me unable to walk. I should be able to walk. She hooked me up with a dr. prescribed weight loss program and some back stretches. Apparently my pelvis is tilted at the wrong angle. This weight loss program seems like it will be very hard. It's a liquid fast for like 12 weeks!!!! No food at all. No alcohol. Not even a celery stick. Only 800 calories a day. I never eat when i'm hungry. I always eat when I feel an emotion. So these 12 (why so long?) weeks will be me blogging to overcome my emotional binge eating. It will be like a big reset button for my emotions, my behavior, and my digestive system. I have my first meeting with the program people Thursday. I'm very nervous and scared. The program comes with group counseling, a nutritionist, and frequent dr. involvement to make sure my body's handling it all. We'll see what they have to say.