Week 3 was a sucess.

I lost 2 pounds. I lost a couple of inches too. I don't have time today to enter in the data, but probably Friday. Here's last weeks data.

Date	4/22	4/23	4/24	4/25	4/26	4/27	4/28
Shakes:	1100	1200	1200	1200	1145/1230	1220	0930
	1430	1515	1445	1500	1500	1510	1150/1245
	1800	1830	1845	1830	1830	1810	1615
	2100	2230	2130	2220	2200	2210	2010
	0000	0030	0000	0000	2310	0000	2245
	XXX	XXX	XXX	0030	0010	0130	0030
Cheat?	Y-25cal pickle	N	N	N	N	N	N
2L H2O	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y
Exercise:	Y	N	Y	N	Y	N	Y
Vitamins	Y	N	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y
Caffeine mg	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

.........Weight.... Loss...... % ........total % loss... BMI

2	277.0	5.6	1.98	5.46	40.90
3	275.0	2	0.72	6.14	40.61

I'm very busy. My physio test 4 was moved up 5 days!!! And I'm not prepared for the test tomorrow. 48 hours notice just isn't enough...

End of week 3!

I had a super great workout today. It was post test and pre work. I got on the treadmill and rocked it for my 20 minutes of cardio. I was able to do most of my workout at a 3.5-3.6 pace! This is up from my usual 3.2-3.4. I also always finish with a minute and half of 4.0 pace...my little legs moving like something from a acme cartoon, or like Rocket when you try to chase him on a wood floor. Granted I was at a different location than my normal and they had a different machine than I usually use, but whatever.

I got an 88 on my pharmacology test today. I'm still not quite up to my normal brain speed...and I've had an extra shake for the last 3 nights while I'm studying. But, I will still make an A in the class overall. I've made such high grades all semester that I can make C's on my last tests (in both classes) and still make an A's (don't worry Mom, doesn't mean I'm going to slack). The extra leeway makes it so I don't have to worry as much about my brain function while dieting. Did y'all know that the brain cannot store glucose. So you have to have good blood glucose levels for it to diffuse into the brain so that you can maximize brain function. The best way to get glucose into the blood...is eating. Well, I'm only eating 800, well with 6 shakes it's up to 960 calories, a day. So I have to plan my studying around my eating too. Only 4 more tests for this semester.

Weigh in tomorrow. Can't wait to see how I've done this week. All those thoughts of frito pie...I wonder if they'll show up on the scale? I also have the second half of my first treat for doing so well. I have my hour long spa manicure. Should be nice an relaxing, I know the pedicure was. I'll let everyone wait with anticipation until Wednesday. Until then, this is one chicken who is crossing the road signing off.

Day 20

I don't know if It's because I'm stressed out this week or what, but I don't feel like I've lost weight this week. I had multiple days where I was just really craving eating in the evenings. I didn't eat anything, but I did have 6 shakes/ soups on two of those days instead of 5. It's the intellectual answer instead of the 'eat everything in site' answer, plus it's only 160 calories. I think another contributing factor is that there were obvious changes in my body the first two weeks and I can't tell if there are changes in my body this week. I don't know if my perception of my body has changed, maybe I've already forgotten how I looked 3 weeks ago. I know I've lost weight, but my body proportions make me look really overweight this week. I still have the rest of today and tomorrow and Tuesday morning...so still time until my weigh in.

Accomplishment: Through all this uncertainty and stress I haven't cheated or done anything not on my diet. I've also exercised 3 times already this week! So while stressed, I've still succeeded.

Day 18

I may not post as much for the next 2 weeks...I have 5 tests from the 28th through the 9th. I've gotta finish my semester and I'll be spending a lot of time studying (and walking on the treadmill at the gym to alleviate all the stress of studying).

I just made an appointment for a deluxe aveda spa pedicure and manicure from Maximum FX Salon and Spa. It's my reward for doing so well on my first two weeks. I'm really looking forward to my little treat. My next reward will be a massage! I've never had one, but I feel that I will deserve one after a few more weeks of successful weight loss (and finals!).

I'm off to study. Should be fun. See everyone after a while...

End of Week 2!

So I lost 5.6 lbs. last week! Here's my log from last week. Truth in reporting, you heard it here first.

Date	4/15	4/16	4/17	4/18	4/19	4/20	4/21
Shakes:	1030	1200	1030	1100	1150	1210	1120/1230
	1430	1500	1315	1410	1520	1510	1515
	1800	1800	1630	1730	1840	1840	1830
	2100	2230	2100	2230	2150	2210	2300
	2330	0030	0010	0040	0030	0010	0100
	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX
Cheat?	N	N	Y slurpee 80cal	N	N	Y-15 cal pickles	N
2L H2O	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y
Excersise	N	N	N	N	Y	N	Y
Vitamins	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y
Caffeine mg	0	0	40mg	40mg	0	0	0

Here are some even better stats!!! The following data is my own creation also. It's helping show me the direct consequences of my actions. I figured out how to create the formulas in excel so that all I need to put in every week is my new weight from my Tuesday weigh-in. Nice eh? (in 2 parts to fit)

Week	Date:	Weight	Weight Loss
	04/08/08	293
1	04/15/08	282.6	10.4
2	04/22/08	277.0	5.6
3	04/29/08		277
4	05/06/08		0

% Loss Week	% Loss Total	BMI	Comment
		43.26	Starting Weight
3.55	3.55	41.73	Nice Start!!!!
1.98	5.46	40.90	Keep Going Carlee!!! Don't stop now!!!
		0.00
		0.00

I talked to Jennie (she's the behaviorist) yesterday at weigh in about working out and finals. She told me not to eat a lean and green (lean and green= lean protein with green veggies) meal during finals, but to just eat one to two extra shakes each day. She warned me that if you do go off the fast that it is usually harder to resume than the first time. Which makes sense. Those pickles I ate gave me a hankering for more eating, hard core hankering! It was like week one all over again. So extra shakes it is. (I was sooo looking forward to one of the chicken cesar salads from Central Market during finals...Guess I'll have to wait the whole 12 weeks.)

Today is the second day of the third week. I just keep plugging away one day at a time.

I cheated

Last night. I ate 9 pickle slices for a total of 15 calories. The worst part of it is that pickles have tons of salt. Nancy from work told me that if I was going to cheat why did I choose pickles? It was totally worth it. I got to chew. It wasn't sweet. All that vinegar!!! It felt awesome. I did feel bad for cheating until I realized I didn't go out and eat a whole cake, I didn't do anything that's bad for me. I just ate some pickles. I am worried. Today is the last day of week two and I'll probably retain water now for my weigh in tomorrow. The price you pay for pickles I guess.

I did go to the gym today before work. I did 26 minutes (22 minute workout and 4 min warm down) on the treadmill with an average HR of 155 (I forgot my heart rate monitor so this is an average of spot checks from the exercise machine). I worked out some of my stress and some of that extra salt and water. Last time I worked out I was very hungry afterwards (very normal for me) but I had eaten a shake right before I worked out to make sure I had enough energy for the workout...so this time I ate half of the shake before the workout and half afterwards. It's a little better. I think I worked out too hard. But overall I feel better post walk.

Day 13

I've been watching some biggest loser Australia today. Much better than the US version. Not all sensationalizing and what not, they are actually nice to each other and help each other. But it's nice to watch others going through weight loss and see them struggle every day too (Australia shows more of the process). It's perversely encouraging and helps give me strength.

I went to the gym yesterday and did 20 minutes on the treadmill at a medium intensity, my ave heart rate was only 146. It was nice. It did make me feel better. I overslept today and I didn't go. I need to work on getting to bed earlier, but it's hard for me to go to sleep that early. Excuses....I have to get over them. More exercise this week! Less excuses more waking up!

Already Dreaming of Failure

At night I'm having problems getting to sleep. I lay away for hours thinking about food. Food that would ruin all my hard work. Food that I know is bad. I try to decide what my first meal will be once I'm off the fast. My first thoughts are never for it to be something healthy. So, I'll try to change what I'm thinking about. So I'll think about healthy foods. All I can do is think about what I'm not having even thought I'm not hungry. All these thoughts are not conducive to long term change. I'm already thinking about sabotaging my hard work once I'm into maintenance.

Last night I realized something. All these foods I think about are in the same portion size that got me here. None of the foods I've been thinking about are truly that bad for me, it's the amount I want to eat that is truly unhealthy. I not thinking about 5 wings and salad. It's 20 wings and a salad. It's not a taco or two...it's 6 tacos. It's not just a simple salad with lots of veggies, it's cheating with salad for days on end while on my fast. I have never dreamed so longingly for the chance to eat a salad. (The first week of transition you add back veggies one or two at a time.)

I've been stressed lately and my food obsession is coming out more and more as my stress level keeps increaseing as finals week approaches and as my application date approaches. I don't have food to fall back on to make me feel good. To make me feel full. I didn't start exercising on Tuesday like I thought. They said to wait another week, plus I had a test on Thursday and with my diet my brain's not as functional as usual, it's been preoccupied with food thoughts. But, I think with my stress level rising, I'm going to have to do something!!!

The good news is that I haven't acted. I keep taking it one day at a time. I'm missing my sleep, but I'm not hungry. This sounds very strange, but to motivate myself I look in the mirror. The face is one of the first things to change when you loose weight, so I'll look at myself and see that my face has changed. Then I'll think about the changes to come. I think about being able to buy a pair of jeans from a store other than Lane Bryant. I think about my new swim suit I want to buy in 6 weeks (right before Padre). I think that 12 weeks is not forever, no matter how long it may feel in the moment. And I think that I'm not giving anything up for forever. It's just a matter of moderation. Portion control. I think about the fact that my body is burning fat at this moment....and why would I want to stop that by eating something that would upset this process.

I think they lie. I don't think this gets any easier the longer I go. But then again, I didn't know if I would make it the first week and look at me on day 11. Only time will tell.

Weigh In

So I had my first weigh in. I lost 9.6 lbs. Some of that is water weight from the reduction of my sodium, but I'm choosing to ignore that fact for right now and just enjoying the fruits of my labors for the last week. So this was exciting.

The counseling session is a group session...apparently about 2/3rds of the people who normally come to that group were missing yesterday (the group gossip guessed they had not done their taxes?). The few people who were there were all old ladies who ramble on and on and on and on and on and on and on, and not about health related issues. I wasn't even introduced to the group until the very end of group. It was interesting to say the least. I still learned stuff at the meeting, don't get me wrong.

I had a great evening after group. I got chicken broth and tomato broth to go with my strawberry and chocolate shakes. I had chicken broth for dinner last night. The skies parted, choir sang, I was in heaven after eating sweet 5 times a day for 8 days and now I got to eat something savory. I was so excited I had chicken broth for two meals last night. I was able to add dried herbs and pepper to it (no salt) and I don't think I can explain how happy it made me. Normally I eat the same thing for one to two weeks, no problem. I just don't eat a whole lot of sweets in my pre diet diet. The sweet factor has been rough. Even though it was amazing, I've decided to keep my soup options for the days when I'm going crazy and don't think I can do it any more. They will be kinda like a safety. At least for now. We'll see how I do. No mater what I sometimes think, two weeks of strict diet isn't too much to ask...at least in theory.

End of Week ONE!!!!

I made it this far. Maybe I can make it. Maybe my will is greater than the shake. I've been hungry today. I don't know why. Look for my ticker to finally move tomorrow...or actually wed after I come to work.

I was a little over enthusiastic in shaking my shake and threw my brunch on the floor and broke my container...spilling half of my brunch. I'm thinking I'll have one extra shake today to make up for it. I think this stressed me out. After this I was supper cranky, had a headache and was hungry! The second half of today has been my worst day yet. I don't know what happened. I felt fine this morning, but now...I'm a bear to be around.

Tomorrow is going to be my first weigh in and counseling session. Should be interesting.

I'm excited to start exercising again...you know I am paying for it and all. I plan on just doing some treadmill walking for 20-30 minutes the first week and some core exercises of course. After that I can increase it slowly to let my body adjust to the exercise on such a low calorie diet. Eventually I would like to do spin class and 24 hour fitness has a circuit class that's an hour. It looks like it's kinda from the biggest loser.

Day 6

I was able to eat dinner with my family last night. There were a few moments in there where I was about to leap across the table to grab a shrimp and eat one or two (my mom made shrimp boil with all these veggies and a crusty loaf of bread and a beer to wash it all down!!!) I was starring into the dish with the shrimps with the smell of horseradish in my nose while clutching my water bottle.

My mom gave me a special glass to put my shake in. Eating with my family, while a little difficult, is still better than eating alone at home!

I'm almost done with week one and I am looking forward to the weigh in on Tuesday. I feel like my body has changed already and some hard numbers to back that up would make me feel better.

Day 4

Things have gotten better. I no longer wake up hungry nor do I get hungry unless I eat greater than about 3 and a half hours apart. My information session at ACC today went over and caused me to have to wait 4 hours in between meals and I was overwhelmed with hunger. It's time for my third meal today and the hunger from earlier today is still with me. I haven't been too cranky so far. I have had a few headaches. The doctor told me not to work out this week, so cranky may come next week when I start exercising again. Moral of this story: Hunger shouldn't be a problem for the next 80 days.

Eating every 3 hours is the lesson learned so far. Lots of little meals are better than a few large ones. Apparently the human body is set up like a grazing machine. It's not designed to have large gaps between feedings. My little regime I've got going is helping to modify my behavior to do this.

I've got my Optifast Log going pretty good. (I've already created an exercise log and it's pretty spiffy if I do say so myself.) My next task is to create something to log when I'm thinking about food, but not hungry, and why I feel that way. It's next on the list, I haven't really started forming it yet. I am thinking about food constantly it seems. I'm not hungry, so some it is from my bad eating habits. Times and places I usually eat, some is just cause I miss eating.

Date	4/8	4/9	4/10	4/11	4/12	4/13	4/14
Shakes:		0845	1200	1130
		1145	1515	1530
	1800	1500	1830	1845
	2100	1900	2220
	0000	2250	0110
	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX	XXX
Cheat?	ate before meeting	N	N
2L H2O	Y	Y	Y
Excersise	N	N	N	N	N	N	N
Vitamins	N	N	Y
Caffeine mg	N	N	40mg

Overall, I think there's already a change in my body shape. I'm going to ask Sean when he gets back into town cause he hasn't seen me since I started Tuesday. I meant to take a before picture and maybe a weekly picture to help me see what was going on (to help with motivation), but I forgot the before. I'll have to make do with all after pictures I guess. My jeans fit better...but I can't wait for the day I get to go buy a new pair of jeans. I know it won't be for a couple of weeks, but I anticipate.

Day Two

Not eating....SUCKS! (sorry I haven't written in a while, I had a test this morning I had to prepare for...I got an A)

I'm sitting here wondering how reasonable this plan is? I'm wondering if I do have the will power to eat healthy and workout while still eating my food instead of drinking it? I'm wondering where the closest fajitas joint is? I'm wondering if Lorne would taste good if I licked him? I'm wondering if herbs would taste good in my strawberry shake? I'm wondering if the shake is mightier than my will?

I woke up from hunger this morning (about an hour and a half before my alarm clock was to go off I might add). Something I've never had happen to me. Before I woke up I was dreaming that I was stranded and dying of thirst and hunger...will these dreams continue? I get to eat about 100 calories every 3 hours, but I'm hungry after only 2 hours. I've bought my first 12 pack of diet soda. I don't usually drink soda to begin with...but I need something other than the sweet shakes. I got diet 7up. A little tart. My friend from work says to try a grapefruit diet soda, more tart and less sweet. Do they think that every overweight person is that way from eating sweets? Cause I'm here because I'm into savory. They requested that I not get any of the soups for the first 2 weeks. I was really looking forward to something that wasn't sweet.

I made myself a little log sheet. It will track at what time I'm eating, if I'm getting my water in, and such. This way maybe I can set up a more normal routine for myself. I like routine.

I was going to take 3 classes this summer to finish some core curriculum for my future BSN....but now I'm thinking that I should not and just focus on my weight loss and saving money for next spring once I'm actually in nursing school.

The doctor told me that I will probably loose weight at about 1-2% a week max after the first 2 weeks. That's 2-5 pounds a week. Apparently the first 2 weeks the body goes crazy cause of the crazy diet change, but then the body compensates and levels out.

Deep Thought of the Day:
So every time I feel hungry my behavior says to find food and eat it. I'm concentrating on what my first instinct is in food selection. Whether I'm looking for the food closest to me, something specific, or something cause I know it's not healthy. Just this one small little step. What my first choice in food selection is. And I'm getting plenty of practice today.

OH...I just found today's motivation to go on...




I can lie to myself when I'm just walking around day to day. There aren't a lot of mirrors in my life to look in. But pictures don't lie.

Sobriety

An unexpected side effect of my weight loss plan. While not a bad side effect, it's something i've never really thought about. This side effect will probably affect my friends more than me. I won't be putting in on pitchers for the summer, nor will my friends have to shell out to buy me a drink. Doesn't mean I don't want to be invited, I'll still come hang out and chat. Just know: The voice of irresponsibility will be all talk and no action.

I had a little fiesta last night as a send off to booze for 5 or 6 months (the irony of drinking to not drinking is not lost on me!). Today i'm remembering why I don't usually drink that much. Also, why a person should not mix different drinks. I had a little of almost all my favorite drinks last night...not my finest plan.

Sean's Leakey in September is my date for alcohol reentry into my diet.